So I have some very random thoughts in mind, yet they mainly fall under three main categories: graduation, love, and the fear of the future.
Yesterday was my graduation group photos. I was not that excited for it as I know there’s another Cap & Gown day coming. But I went on Thursday to buy new clothes, and on the group photos day I tried to look good.
The day went very well. As I approached the crowd and found many of my friends there, I was super excited. I realized that I’ll miss the college days because of all the great people that I have met. And as the end of my last semester approaches, I find myself more grateful for the extravagant development that happened to me.
I was hyper active and wanted to get photos with everyone. I wasn’t pretending to be “cool” or indifferent. That’s one thing I still love about myself. I find it terribly hard to fake emotions.
Two of the dearest people in my life were not there, and that’s when I really started to notice how friendship and love make any ordinary moments special because you spend them with certain people.
I went to a concert that I would have never normally gone to before. The kind of concerts that I judge people for. But I really wanted to feel happy. For the first time I danced like there isn’t anybody watching. I danced wildly with my friends, and I pushed away any thought of guilt, or who’s now in jail, or the freaking country and the revolution. I wanted to feel young and happy… without all the worries that I usually have in mind.
There will be lots of things going on with my life in the next few months that will determine my future. I’ll have to return to live with my parents again. No more moving out when the semester begins. That will mean there will be lots of fights over going out wearing what I want, going to the concerts I like without worrying about the hassle that happens if I returned after 10 pm, or how I spend my own money that I earn from my own salary. Not to mention lots of other stuff because honestly, I don’t want to remember them now.
I should not be afraid because I know a very supportive, gentle and kind one is by my side. But I wish for him to find peace and harmony within his own self as well.
And you know, there’s another random thought that is not so random after all. It’s about those who spent their lives feeling victimized. Crying over the lost things instead of trying to build new ones. For these I feel pity. But although I care about everybody most of the time, I should not allow my empathy to destroy the few good things in my life.